Judgy McJudgerson....

My husband calls me this a lot, and yes I am Judgy McJudgerson at times...

Okay A LOT of the time!!

Here is the urban dictionary definition of this:

Holy Crap how is there not a picture of me next to that definition! I will add one just to make a point.

I swear it has gotten worse since I have become a mom! Small things always creep in my head like "WOW, I would never let my child wear that!" or "OMG, how can they let their child do this or that?". It is a horrible case of madness that I need to knick in the butt. I always try to act like it is okay since I do not openly say it outloud! lol But still I need to stop being so judgmental! 

Here are a few prime examples of this wonderful motherly behavior:

Here we are sitting in Mass quietly with the boys, another couple sits behind us with children. We were about 10 minutes in when I hear the mother hand his son a cell phone and I hear the "Angry Birds" theme song. Okay I get it, you want your child to be quiet, and dude Angry Birds totally rocks but come on! There is a time and a place and things that are just not okay during Mass. Also let's note the kid was about 9 or 10, you know the age where children know how to be quiet and sit still.  Insert Judgy McJudgerson, I just sit quietly in the pew holding Luke and trying to keep looking forward and trying to ignore the situation thinking in my head "Seriously MOM, why oh why are you allowing your child to play a game, a game with NOISE in church! VOMIT!"

Another scenario.

We are in Baby Gap, when I was pregnant with Luke and Vincent was in the stroller and we were waiting in line behind a mother with 2 kids, maybe 2 and 4. Anyways the 4 year old is acting up a little (nothing too intense) and the mom goes FREAKING BESERK on him screaming and totally making a huge scene. I stood mortified that I was witnessing this. I totally get it, kids wig out in the most awkward places. I leak an awkward smile towards her while inside I am thinking "HOLY COW did that just happen! How do you expect your kid to behave when you act like a crazy lady screaming at him in public". Hello Judgy McJudgerson! 

Why not give another example...

Last night, Luke was playing in his usual attire by the end of the day, a diaper and only a diaper, with his chub hanging all over ((LOVE IT)). I said to Jordan, "is it trashy that I let him just wear a diaper", Jordan of course said "No, he is a baby!" then I said "well it's okay because we are at home but I would never take him out in just a diaper, I think that is so tacky when I see a baby in just a diaper out in public!" Seriously who am I to judge, I totally make certain things okay, for my own situation! I just thought to myself "it is okay since we are at home that he is in a diaper!" What the heck, who cares! lol 

Then today, which is why I decided to write this post. I saw a picture of Suri Cruise, age 5 with a pacifier and I start judging right away. "What the heck is a 5 year old during with a pacifier, I would never allow such a thing!", I started reading the comments to see who else agreed with me (so I could make my point seem okay!) but then I kept thinking, "Who cares if others agree or disagree!" 

I do plenty of things that others may or may not agree with such as I co-slept with both boys which some may see as a hazard, we have family prayers every night, which some may see as a bit intense, but you see, as parents we chose our battles and do things our own ways. I expect my kids to behave and act in a certain way does that make me a bad mom or a forceful mother, or a hovering parent in someone else's eyes, maybe so. But I always have my childrens best interest in mind, as I am sure other parents do as well. Will we all parent the same way. NO. Will we all discipline the same way. NO. Will all children dress the way I think is cool. NO. We are all different and that is what makes us unique. 

But what is my deal... am I the only mother who has this problem!? Since when has mothering become such a sport (Am I in first place of the game? Where is the gold medals??!) This is something I am always trying to improve but sometimes it is like Judgy McJudgerson is on my one shoulder and the non-judgy mom I want to be is on my opposite shoulder and they just duke it out! 

Hopefully some of you can relate to the madness that Judgy McJudgerson causes. If not, enjoy reading about one of my many flaws haha! If you have a case of being judgy how do you cope or battle the beast?? Would love to hear your input!! Much love xoxo!

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  1. I am one who totally judges other mothers, and it obviously didn't start until I became a mother. I think its something we all do, usually without even realizing it. So you are normal LOL


  2. It is all part of motherhood, don't worry we all do it. Take from your mother-in-law who had four kids of her own, and is now raising two step-granddaughters, do you not think I judge, wow, baby!

    PS, I do think it is trashy to take your child out in only a diaper, put on some clothes for heaven's sake.
    It is a normal thing, so don't worry.

    Love to all!!!!

  3. Okay, now you make me feel like Judgy McJudgerson...

    Suri Cruze is definately too old for a paci.. 5 years old really?? That's lazy parenting...and bad for her teeth

    Letting a child hang out at home in a diaper is one thing...public totally different story. That is trashy...

    10 year old playing video games in church...really??? I may have stood up and said something along the lines of "Excuse me Father, but could you please speak up??? I cant hear over the video game that Mrs. Smith just gave her son John to play...Thank you" :)

    I think you are normal...or either I'm a judgmental mean girl....

  4. I'm totally with you! I have been trying to kick this little habit lately. I find myself judging other parents all the time...sometimes with good reason, sometimes not. I'm getting better though!

    However, I WILL still judge you if you have your child out in public with only a diaper on. That's just plain trashy and wrong! Lol.

  5. I have the same type of reactions. I think it is good to catch ourselves though and go, who am I to judge. Sometimes it is ok to say, I would never... and maybe you wouldn't ever, as long as you do not judge the other person for doing it, in their situation

  6. Wow. Fooooorrrr reals. It is totally a mom thing... we can't help it!

    I think it's because from the second you find out you're pregnant, you start figuring out how the be the best mom ever. And one of the ways we figure out how to be the best mom ever is to observe bad moms and make copious notes-to-self to never do those things.

    Of course, 'best mom ever' and 'bad mom' are completely relevant only to our own definitions of how you qualify for either category.

    Anyway... I have a similar judging situation with a mom I see in Mass all the time who let's her (probably 10 yr old) son play his Nintendo DS all through Mass... and sometimes I catch her watching his screen!! Seriously, mom?!

    Deep. Breath.

    I think we really do have to just remember we, too, make mistakes. And most likely, some mom, somewhere, at some point, caught us in one of them and totally judged us. This is life!

  7. i am TOTALLY in on this with you... me to a T. and there is no shame in that. its in our nature, as mothers, to wish nothing but the best for other children, and it is sad when we see the complete opposite.

  8. It's sor easy for me to start judging but I try to remind myself that I'm not perfect either. Like you said, you have to pick your battles and sometimes I give into thing I know I shouldn't just because I don't want the fight. There are so many things that I swore I would never do before I became a mom that I do now... too much tv, not so healthy meals, etc. We can't be perfect all the time but there are some things that I see that I judge... it's like I look for assurance that I'm a good mom by comparing what Abby doesn't do to what other kids do. It's crazy and I try not to but it happens!

  9. Diaper alone is only trashy in public. I judge BAD. But I also try really hard not to. Instead I stop and thank God that I have made a smarter choice than the person I am judging and pray that they wise up. I also cannot stand it when moms take their kids out in sweats with the unzipped coats and unzipped boots looking like rag muffins while mom is all dolled up. The family that bums together stays together:)