The minute you become pregnant,
There are a few things that are ahead…the obvious weight gain and growing belly…
And the UNWANTED ADVICE GIVERS…
The floodgates open the minute you announce your pregnancy and they come at high speed….
“When I was pregnant, I only gained X amount of pounds are you sure you are on target?”
“I would never deliver my baby without the drugs, you will definitely want to get the drugs!”
“Are you sure you aren’t carrying twins?”
“Do you think you should eat that?”
“You will need this, this and this…mainly because my child loved It!”
And good Lord once the baby arrives…
“You should be feeding him every few hours”
"He probably needs a pacifier...try the pacifier"
“Make sure you sleep when the baby sleeps”
“You should not start solids until exactly”
“You need to start with veggies first instead of fruit”
“You should make sure he has his coat on at all times”
“You need to do this….You need to do that”
I MEAN IT IS NEVER ENDING…
I wish I could say it stopped once your child turns one
Even outside of the baby stage it keeps coming!
“My child did not do that until this age”
“2 is much harder than 1…Get ready for chaos!”
“Are you sure he should be doing that?”
"He should really have his shoes on"
My favorite advice is when it comes from people without KIDS…
Like really…you know this…HOW!?!?
I wish my kids had this shirt…
can I get this in a 2t, 18mos and newborn please!
Sometimes it takes all the energy I have to not backhand people or blow up completely…
BUT then I would get advice on how to handle my emotions haha
It’s a lose-lose situation!
Thankfully after Vincent the advice slowed down to a more calm pattern.
I wonder if it is because people saw that he was healthy, thriving and perfectly fine!?
Once Luke arrived we still got advice but not near as much…THANK GOD.
And with Jude I am expecting slim to none…
I am a person who likes to do things on my own and if I want advice I will gladly ask.
But getting it unwanted drives me bonkers!
What I have learned is that EVERY SINGLE CHILD IS DIFFERENT…
And EVERY parent is different…
What worked for Vincent or Luke may or may not work for your child.
What you think is the right way to do things may not be the way I do things…
AND ALL OF THAT IS OKAY
Therefore my advice stays within my own mind unless you ask!:)
I mean seriously we ALL know that we have advice we would love to give...
Like today when I took my glucose test (vomit) and a lady walked in for hers drinking a frappe...
I wanted to say...
"HEY idiot YOU, you might as well not take the test because you WILL FAIL from drinking that!"
but that little tidbit of advice stayed tucked in my head...
Okay..I shared it with Jordan, but still...it stayed away from the pregnant lady! haha
I know most times the advice giver is not trying to be rude….
I say most times because let’s face it, I think sometimes people want to be RUDE…
and try to have the upper hand on us mommas...
But I hope think our friends, parents and relatives just want to help…and they mean well.
But in all seriousness
Whatever happened to a nice….”WOW you look great!”
“I am so excited for you guys!”
“Pregnancy or Motherhood is really looking good on you!”
Or just asking how things are going and listening to what the mother is going through…
THEN maybe if she asks for advice, it would be appropriate to give it to her.
Just be there for your friends/family, let them know your there if they need you!
In the end, the most important thing you can do, is trust your gut.
You know what is right for YOUR child!
Be educated on your choices so when someone attacks them you can be confident
and snap right back haha!
I love to let people know that I am knowledgeable about things regarding the boys
Stand your ground also when you feel like the advice is getting to be too much.
Some people can just blow it off and ignore it (Jordan)
But it eats at me so I have to let people know to back off at times.
Because I take any rudeness as a dig at my ability to parent...
and that does not fly with me...
I am typically very calm and quiet but mess with my kids or my family...
it's on!:)
Some advice is worth listening to, other isn't.
Just weed through it, and don't be afraid to ask questions when YOU chose to take advice
I found a few easy responses to give for unwanted advice that should hopefully help…
“Really? I am glad that worked for you!”
Or a simple...
“I will consider that!”
I know your eyes will be rolling during both responses
I know those are both easier said than done…
If all else fails, get together with your girlfriends, have a glass bottle of wine and bitch about all the wonderful advice you have been handed and laugh at all the craziness!
What is the WORST advice you have been given? Or has been shoved in your face!?
Now that you are a mom are you more hesitant to give advice like I am?
OR How do you calmly deal with it or let it slide?
I think that is advice you will appreciate...
if not feel free to call me out on it!:)
Happy Tuesday!
xoxo
