Tuesday, January 3, 2012

HOLY Meltdown and Some Thoughts on Discipline....

The house is silent right now, BOTH boys are down for "naps". 
Vincent has not napped in a year or so, therefore he is typically up all day with me but today I made him go to his room from his HORRIBLE behavior at the mall.....
Let's start from the beginning...
All was going amazingly, we hit a few stores and I promised if they were good that we would hit the little play place up and they could run wild! Seriously it was picture perfect, they were angels in the stores so before we left I let them play, they were happy as could be running around and being crazy. Then Vincent spotted those car carts that they have at the mall, usually he wouldn't think twice but we had allowed him to ride in one once....and only once for these reasons. He started walking for them and I told him no, to which he responded with a yelling "NO!!!", I do not put up with him saying no, it just is not okay.
Typically he would just be fine and listen but today was special. He cranked it up into PSYCHO CHILD gear! I told him as nicely as I could that "We are leaving because you are not listening to Mommy", to which he then started kicking and screaming "NO!"....{all the parents staring at me} I held my ground and got Luke in the stroller then grabbed Vincent and buckled him in as best as I could, I shuffled to get my coat on and everything back in the stroller....I am sure this was quite a sight!:)
Vincent is literally throwing himself out of the stroller screaming "NO!" and acting like a complete psycho. I seriously forge on, and push them out of the little play place. I can feel the judging eyes coming from all angles. I try again to talk nicely to him and ask him to please stop and act like a BIG BOY! I usually will ask him if he is a "big boy or a baby" and that usually will calm him down as I explain that "big boys" do not act this way. Well he was not having it. I seriously am hauling butt as fast as I can through the department store (dripping sweat from our quick escape) as my psycho 2 year old screams at the top of his lungs. 
I wanted to die right then and there. 
But I pushed on and got us out of the mall, and swiftly into the car. 
I explained over and over the entire way home that saying "NO" to mommy is not acceptable and that if he cannot leave when he is asked that we will not have fun times like that at the mall. I told him he would have to go to his room when we got home and lay down and chill out.
As promised, He is in his room and ALL is peaceful! 
I am exhausted from the whole ordeal but I refuse to let him get his way.
I could have just ignored him saying "NO!" to me and let him play happily or given him what he wanted but that is not {in my eyes} being a good parent. I refuse to let my children walk over me. I have seen far too many instances where children run their parents and it is not okay.
I mean seriously is it any wonder why there are SO MANY bullies at schools now? 
Is it any wonder why some people have zero work ethic? 
Never in a million years would kids have talked the way they do 50 years ago. 
Maybe letting your kids have everything and 
never telling them NO isn't as smart as some thought? 
I always wondered how families ended up on SuperNanny with these hellish kids and I know exactly what went wrong, they did not stand up to their kid and PARENT them! IT SUCKS to have to yell at them and discipline them but you ONLY have ONE shot at teaching them right from wrong. I refuse to let my children be bad or act in a certain way just because they are "kids". There will be punishments in this house for bad behavior and they will not always get what they want when they want it. If that makes someone think I am a bad parent, then so be it! I would much rather have a respectful child than one who is disrespectful and tries to run the show. 
I feel like discipline is the one place where a lot of parents struggle but like I said it is NOT fun to have to do it. I would love to just let Vincent get away with whatever because let's face it, it's easier. But my role as a parent is to teach them wrong from right. I love to have fun with the boys and act crazy but there comes a line when too much is too much! I love my children with all my heart and that is why I will teach them right from wrong every step of the way, no matter how tired I am or how frustrating it may be.
I hate having to raise my voice, and I do not do it often but there is one thing we always do to let our children know we love them, EVEN if they are bad. We always hug them right after the ordeal and let them know how much we love them and that we are just helping them to be BIG BOYS! 

What is your discipline style? Do you find it hard to say NO? Am I too rough? lol

18 comments:

  1. I hate being in public & seeing parents NOT discipline their kids because what are they going to be like in 5 years?! It sucks having to be the 'mean' guy, but it's 100% worth it when your kids grow up & learn to respect people!

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  2. I guess I am what you would call a "hard ass" parent :) I would not have stood for that behavior either, many times I have left a store whithout what I have need to teach a child a lesson. Resently I have taken to leaving Skye at home (as a punishment) explaining to her when she can act like a big girl, she can go to the store with mommy again. I was never aloud to speak like that to my Mother, in turn I am trying to instill the same beliefs in my kids. Good for you Allie for standing your ground, your boys will thank you for the values you have given them as children, when they grow up to be fine adults. :)

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  3. Ugh I think Im one of the ones who needs super nanny honestly......sometimes Im so exhausted ....I feel like I've tried every outlet with my daughter....spanking....refusing to give in....time outs....talking calmly to her....taking away one of her prized posessions as punishment......NOTHING I mean NOTHING seems to phaze my child at this point.

    The worst part is her room doesnt have a door so she just comes out of time out ....i repeatedly put her back and once she finally stays she will bang on the wall or the floors and our neighbor downstairs will complain to the landlord :(

    When a tantrum happens shes so strong i cant even get her into her carseat....like as if she turned into the freakin HULK or something!

    Im definitely a firm advocate of not letting them walk all over you.....but I could definitely use some help controlling her

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  4. I sm the same way. Jensen is not allowed to tell me no and if he throws fits somewhere the trip is over, end of story. Normally he's REALLY good when we go out because he LOVES going out and seeing people but lately he's been in a screaming phase and we've had issues with him testing boundaries. I only hope it doesn't get worse the more we get into his second year lol.

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  5. Not too rough. Perfect. I ABHORE when Marco tells me No... I kinda want to smack him in the face. But I don't. I tell him that you "don't say no to mama".
    You're absolutely right... you have to correct the behavior because you love him. It's much easier to let it go... but then you'd have a 2 year old boss and that would suck.
    Way to go, mama! You rock!

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  6. YAY! Good for you! I've started saying no to brycen, and if he yells back at me, I make sure to be all serious and tell him he cannot yell at mommy - and he's only 5 months old! I totally agree with discipline and you are doing the right thing! I HATE watching children run the show.

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  7. You're absolutely not too rough. Discipline is hard but stand your ground and your kiddos will grow up being respectful. I cringe at some of these kids now days talking back to their parents.
    When we're with family, they label me as the "bad mama" because they think I'm too hard on my boys. It pisses me off when they go against me (like giving in after I said no) and sometimes I feel like they don't see that by giving in will make things worse.
    You're a great mama and although it may be frustrating at times it will pay off in the future when your kiddos are respectful big boys!

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  8. Oh mama! I so feel ya on this one. For the most part Jax is pretty good when we go out. But let me tell ya, I have a more than one of these moments. I seriously got away w/ way to much as a child, & I will not have my child be the boss. Ya know, at the time it sucks holding your ground, not just giving in... AND those dang JUDGING eyes! It's those parents that give to the snoody look that will be on a future episode of Super Nanny! Lol.

    Happy New Year Allie girl! Let's cheers to less melt downs, at least in public.) hahaa. Xo

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  9. I laughed so hard reading this I just had to read it to kassandra and she said you would be a good writer. Lol I always love watching those parents that scream and cuss at their kids and let them throw a tantrum on the floor in the middle of the store. NOT! I know it's exhausting but totally worth it in the long run. I just would always ignore mine and keep shopping but it looks like you were beyond that point which in your case you did the right thing. Just wait till they're older then you can smack them around a little! Lol

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  10. I teach somewhat inner city students and I see that zero work ethic ALL THE TIME. Not only that, they have almost zero respect for their teachers. Not all of them but a large handful do not listen, argue, and just don't have respect. It's quite discouraging.

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  11. Definitely not too rough! I never know what to do when Isabella acts up in public. I feel like if I discipline her, I'll be the "horrible mom" to everyone who's watching, or if I'm not hard on her I'll be the mom with "the spoiled rotten kid." It's so hard sometimes, but when it comes down to it, we just gotta do what we think is right in our momma hearts. :)

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  12. You go Allie!! My hand is itching to spank Anna, she is so strong willed. but I'm waiting until the two year mark since that is supposedly when they understand discipline. I'm not above throwing myself on top of her (she easily overpowers me so I have to crank it up) until she calms down though.

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  13. You handled that exactly how I would have had any of my nanny children acted that way! Way to go! Im stoked to know there are people out there that still choose to step up and parent their children the right way! Keep it up!

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  14. I would have handled it the same way!!! Nolan tries his hardest to walk all over me but that shh don't fly!

    I agree with everything you said in this post!

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  15. my baby will turn 2yrs next month but believe me i often asked God how could it be possible for a baby boy like mine to do something like he does..
    at his young age he always at home and now that its winter here we cannot go out even at the park but i always ask myself where and how he learn to response and say "no" to me. he seems to young to know what is wrong and what is right but he has the idea of what he wants.
    sometimes i just got tired and don't know what to do..
    what happened to you always happening to me and i just don't know how i could discipline my baby!???
    xoxo, Haus of Gala

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  16. oh man mama sounds rough. pregnant with two kiddos, one going NUTSO... sounds like my worst nightmare happening. i would totally be scarred. but just like you said... i WOULD NOT... WILL NOT... EVER put up with a child walking all over me. hell to the no. i will continue enforcing rules and punishment until they get it.

    elli is already giving me a hard time. oy.

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  17. Lady friend, I had this same exact situation happen a few months ago! What is it with mall play places that make kids go crazy? I mean, we are wanting THEM to have fun and they are acting psycho? It baffles me. But I did the same exact thing. Hightailed it outta there and went home. The looks from the other moms were amazing. Seriously, the judgey eyes were awful and why? So stupid. I think you did the best thing for sure!

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  18. I don't think you're too rough. Good for you for standing your ground. I don't put up with that either. Landon has spent a lot of time in the naughty corner of our house, and I sometimes feel mean about it but honestly...it's like you said about Super Nanny and Nanny 911. People end up on that show because they never disciplined their children in the first place.

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Thanks for your comments, If I do not respond to you, feel free to yell at me! I really love you all~!