Thursday, August 30, 2012

Making "Mommy" Friends....


I have been at this mommy game for a few years now. Making mommy friends was seriously something that terrified me at first. I was so nervous about being judged and also bringing others I don't know into my family! But after a few years I realized that, if someone judges me or is mean, I do not have to be friends with them. There are so many mommas out there and you will find GOOD friends, there are lots of choices, so do not give up if you are in a friend finding rut! I finally took time to break down my favorite places to find mommas...

Baby Center-
When I got pregnant I had no friends who were pregnant, no one who really got it. It was a tad lonely to be honest. It was literally just me and my What Not to Expect book chilling out at night, alone! When I was pregnant with Vincent I found a site called Baby Center, where I met an amazing mama named Tera. We lived in the same state a few hours away and we bonded quickly. We got eachother, we could talk about anything....pregnancy, husbands, family...pretty much nothing was off limits with us. It was refreshing to have a great friend over the internet. Our husbands both made fun of us when we would refer to eachother as "friends", they would say "oh your internet friend or fake friend" haha. We both welcomed our sweet first children within a month of each other. I felt as if I had known Tera for years. We then experienced our second pregnancies together which was so fun. Before Luke was born we found out that we would actually be relocating to where Tera lived. Seriously, what are the chances of that! We now live about 20 minutes from each other. I love the way we met, and the friendship and understanding we have with eachother from being moms. And I thank Baby Center for Miss Tera, my no BS, straight shooting favorite mama!:)

*We even went on a couple trip with our husbands last year to Vegas! We watched Tera and her husband run the 1/2 marathon at the Hoover Dam! (I of course got pregnant so could not run....DARN!!) haha It was so much fun with them! 
(Yes, that is Bret Micheals!)

Warning: There is a LOT of drama on Baby Center, so have your drama goggles on! You just have to weed through it and find the gems, like Tera!:) Moms will literally fight over what you feed your kid, how you dress them and pretty much anything! It can be like high school all over again if you let it! But I just ignored the crazies! I mean come on...you will get DRAMA with thousands of hormonal pregnant women on one site! But please do not let that scare you! ;)

MeetUp-
The internet was also my source for my other momma friends. I joined a site called MeetUp when we moved here. There were 2 groups in the area. I actually drug Tera with me on my first meet up. It was seriously so awkward and did not go well. The other mom was not my cup of tea, which is fine. You will run into that clearly. I was very timid to try the other group but I gave it a whirl. I was so pumped when these mommas were so down to earth and real! It was so nice to meet great ladies, who also had great children. Children with manners and kindness! Great all around families. I have had so many great playdates with these ladies. I am so blessed from MeetUp! Look up groups in your area, and if one doesn't work...try another!!:) 

Blogging-
And wow, once again the internet is my third source and probably BIGGEST (FAVORITE) source of mommy friends, you blogging hotties. I cannot not even explain how many of you I love. I love you ladies like family. I do not care that we have not met in person, you are all like family. I have had the chance to meet a few of you, (Kayla, Lisa, Becky, Amanda and Jayme) and I am blessed to have you all as "real-life" friends. The moments I met each one of these ladies there was ZERO awkwardness. It was just normal. There are many of you who I have not met in real life that have helped me through my life journey, you know who you are! You are all such a blessing and I am so glad that I started this blog, not only for a great keepsake but for all the friendships that have formed. I wish we ALL lived closer so we could have playdates. Seriously I know we all joke 247 about it, but let's all live on the same streets and have block parties. We need to figure this out asap! Can we just have our own BlogHer type conference!? Who cares about all the PR and writing crap, I just want to spend time with all of you lol. I love you no matter what you blog about. 
Plus from blogging you get to meet some amazing women...

School friends...
My last source of mommy friends is the old true one. Friends I have went to highschool with. I love these ones so much. It is so cool to see people you have known your whole life transform into a mother. Motherhood is something you cannot explain, but when your friends become pregnant they get it. When they give birth and begin parenting it all changes. I would say it changes for the better. You can bond over something other than whats hot in entertainment or food?! You bond over the wonders of your own children. The most beautiful thing in the world. I cannot wait for a lot of my other friends to become moms.

So there you have it... when it comes down to it for mommy friends, the internet for the win!
 No matter how far away we are from eachother it connects us! 
Where else have you found mommas!? 

11 comments:

  1. oh Momma friends are the hardest! I wish I lived near you, I would love a great Catholic mom friend! Ive tried the Meetup thing, and it went horribly the first time, and I haven't gone back to it, even with new groups. It is so hard, especially since I am shy and my family tells me I have a "bitch face". So people think I am snobby and rude, but I'm not, that's just the usual look on my face :(
    I want my kids to have friends, before getting to school, so I guess I just have to suck it up and get out there.
    And yes, if you don't like them, you don't have to be friends with them. Thanks for the tips!

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  2. I've been struggling with this lately because all of my IRL friends live so far away and it's hard to make friends as a grownup. I have a good girlfriend that just recently started working with me but we already see each other everyday at work. One blogger suggested looking into a MOPS group, which I did and plan to check out a meeting next month so hopefully that will help. There are several bloggers that I know that live in the DC metro area like me but it take 45 minutes at least to get anywhere in the DC area so it's still hard. Everytime I see a mom with a baby walking in the neighborhood I want to tackle her and ask her to be my friend. haha.

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  3. I still haven't met that many mommy friends in my area. Everyone is a little different on the west coast compared to the midwest where I am from, but slowly I am making some good ones! And that is so cool you met Taza! Love rockstar diaries.

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    1. Opps that isn't Taza! Its Kelle from Bloom! Just started her book!

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  4. I met the majority...well actually all of my friends through my kid's schoolmates. It's amazing the bonding and clicking that is done on the sidelines of kindergarten soccer or in the clatch that hangs out after preschool drop off. You do have to step out a bit. I call it Mommy dating. Totally the same!

    Cute post, as always, Allie!

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  5. I agree! I met one of my best mommy friends through my blog. She lives in North Carolina and Brice has even struck up a really good friendship with her husband. I'm thankful for the internet (heck, if it weren't for the internet I wouldn't have met Brice either). I have yet to try a "mommy meetup" group yet. I've wanted to, but I don't know if it'd really be my thing.

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  6. This is a great and helpful post. I always feel like motherhood can be the most wonderful journey... and the most lonely one at the SAME TIME! Weird, right?
    I didn't use BabyCenter, but I used TheBump and also made a few friends... that became IRL friends too. I've also "met" a lot of awesome mommy bloggers, although I haven't had the privilege of meeting any of them in real life... are you planning a trip to Miami soon? LoL.
    And I also found a lot of wonderful friends by joining a local MOPS group. Oh, and meeting random women at parks... haha. You can't be shy!

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  7. This is a very helpful post and also so helpful to read through all of the comments and not feel so alone in that I have definitely been struggling with making other mama friends. It is sooo hard to make new friends as an adult, especially when not working with other adults. I definitely feel I have created bonds with many other bloggers in the short time i have been blogging, and of course I have some good friends in real life from childhood who are starting to have kids so it is great to chat with them but I never get to see them as they are thousands of miles away. I just wish all of us looking for mama friends lived much closer together!! :)

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  8. Great post Allie! We are so glad you are a part of our Meetup and I am so glad you are a part of my life. God Bless,
    Kat

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  9. Hurrah for momma friends, lord knows we need a support system!

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  10. when I first moved to kansas I joined a meet up group which I was in for 2 years. there were times when meet ups went well and other times I felt awkward and out of place. I didn't make close friends through the group and the meet up times started not working out well for me, so I didn't rejoin. most of my good friends I met through my son's preschool class. 2 of my good friends happen to have 3 kids all the same ages as mine. I'm so happy that worked out for me!

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Thanks for your comments, If I do not respond to you, feel free to yell at me! I really love you all~!