Having a rough time...

Ahhh it is nice that the election is over and there is no more hate ads everywhere I look but I just have a horrid knot in my stomach still. Obviously the outcome was not for Romney and Ryan, which is fine. The people have spoken and chosen who they want. I get it.

What's done is done.  BUT....(you knew there had to be a but or else I would not be posting)

I am just stuck. Stuck on what to think. Stuck on what to do.

I have literally had this on my mind for weeks! I guess I just do not get it, and maybe it is just one of those things I will never understand. I am obviously a women, clearly but ever since I became a mom women's rights have been even more important to me. Having babies and also miscarrying have proven to me when life begins and how fragile it is. I am so blessed to have my boys, and they all started from day one in my womb. I still remember the day before I miscarried sitting in the ER clinging to hope that my 6 week old fetus who they had just spotted the heartbeat on ultrasound would survive. That he or she would be here in 34 more weeks playing with the boys. That did not happen and everyone around me felt horrid. All my friends rallied and gave me their support which I am forever grateful for. Because to me and them I had lost a child, a sweet soul that would have been another amazing addition to our family puzzle. But what about children that are thrown away? Not even given a shot? I just do not get it. Everyone felt bad about my 6 week old, so what about all the children who are aborted up to 23 weeks?? Is it ANY different? My heart just hurts over this concept. I guess I cannot wrap my head around how people were devastated for me but not equally as devastated for all the babies that are lost daily?

I am just scared. Scared for our future. Scared for my children's future.

Another thing I am stuck on is also the concept of people working hard for a living. This drives me up a wall. My husband works his butt off and has an amazing job. He killed himself working and finishing his MBA so he could provide for his family, but what is his reward??? Paying more taxes?? I mean seriously, this boggles my mind? Should I be telling my kids to aim for high paying careers like doctors or lawyers just so they can get the crap kicked out of them when it comes to taxes? Sorry Vincent that you chose to be a doctor and educated yourself, you are now being punished by paying more taxes? How is that even remotely fair?? We have people working the system left and right and it makes me sick. I know there are people out there who need it, trust me I have been in those shoes. My mother was in an accident when I was in high school, unable to work, and we got food stamps. Food stamps rocked, we could spend the max amount and get the name brand stuff, who cared, it wasn't our money! While others couponed and tried to budget we didn't have to! Sick, right? Yah, it really is! And it is done ALL THE TIME. I am sick that it did not understand how corrupt this was when I was 16 years old. I just did not understand that in the end we were screwing someone over. Someone who worked hard for their money. How do you even explain this to your children?? It just makes zero sense.

I am just stuck trying to take it all in. Figure out what to do from here. What to think and how to react. I seriously do not care who you voted for, this is not a debate at all. My family and I are divided as far as voting goes and I still love them but at the end of the day even though they love Obama, there are still questions that I will never know or understand. I hope you can respect that this is my blog and my thoughts. Does anyone share my feelings or am I a loaner!? haha Am I just over thinking this all!?!?! Man I just wish I had all the answers but I don't.

At the end of the day I just want to teach my children what is right and wrong, but man it is hard when half the country does not believe what I hold to be true! The best thing I can do is hold my values and instill them in my boys, they are my life, my future and my hope. That is all.


  1. people cared about your 6 wk old fetus because they care about you. I'm sure there are people who are devastated for the people who abort and those fetuses too. their friends and their support systems. if a person is alone with no support, then there is no one to feel devastated accept the parents.

  2. Thanks for saying exactly how I feel. You say it best at the end. The most important thing we can do is to continue living our beliefs and teaching our children.


  3. I'm sorry you are disappointed with the results and I respect your reasons for voting the way you did. I did vote for Obama for a number of reasons, including gay rights (I believe people are born gay and therefore shouldn't be discriminated against for how they were born), womens rights (though I personally wouldn't get an abortion I don't think any politician has the right to tell me or any woman what they can and can't do with their body), and I do think that those who are very wealthy should be taxed more to help those less fortunate. There are many people that also work very hard but are not able to have a career or opportunities that makes them wealthy. Yes there are people that abuse the system, there will always be the bad apples in any group but don't penalize the people that truly do need the help. Anyways, those are just some of the reasons I voted the way I did, just to give you a view of the other side. With all that said I just hope that all of the politicians will work together to do what's best for the country.

  4. I understand your frustration with the system and the truth is, these are questions that unfortunately you'll never have the answers to. Unlike you, I did not vote for Romney - for many reasons, including many that Shannon listed above me. In my eyes (and I hope many, many Americans), as a Christian I have the duty of caring for the sick, the poor, the needy and although there are times that I don't want to or I don't like what I have to do, I still think we are responsible. When my husband lost his job in 2009, we were on food stamps. We subscribed as soon as he lost his job and removed ourselves from the system as soon as he was working again, even though since we were not married and I had a child, I could have milked the system indefinitely. Now, we are very lucky that he has a nicely paying job and are happy to contribute to the system with the hope that people will use it - not abuse it - like we did. There are those who don't deserve help, but we're called to love anyway. As for abortion, I don't believe in using it as a form of back-up birth control, but I also don't think it's our right to tell a woman what to do with her body. Now that all is said and done with the election, I hope that we can all find common ground and work towards building a country we can be happy to raise our kids in! Sorry this was so long :)

  5. I agree with Shannon. I don't want anyone telling me what I can or can't do with my body. Do I agree with abortions? Heck no. But I'm not going to judge women who believe in them. I am all for gay rights. I believe to each their own. Love is love in my eyes and really that's all that matters. I agree with the taxing of the rich to help the less fortunate to a degree. There are too many people abusing the system and I completely agree that that needs to stop. But I definitely don't believe government help should be cut out all together. I guess because I've been dirt poor and needed that help, I have to believe that not everyone is abusing the system.

    With all of that said, I can honestly say that I didn't vote for either candidate. I didn't vote for a president at all. I just couldn't make my mind up and instead of voting just to vote, I chose to just leave that dot blank.

    I think that our country needs to come together now more than ever.

  6. I'm glad u posted your feelings in a positive way. After the results came people who were against the results were talking so much hatred and negativity. U are simply trying to work through your thoughts and fears. Thank u for the post.. and p.s. I share these thoughts and fears too.

  7. First, I love your blog and you are are fantastic mommy! I totally understand where you are coming from, but I think that you are perhaps less informed on where these "taxes" go and how they help so many more people who aren't necessarily "moochers," you know? Ok, so maybe you don;t know. But, remember how you fell in love with England and decided that you want your husband to try to someday get a job there? Do you have any idea what the tax rate are in England or how the healthcare system works? I only bring this up, because I am from Nebraska have been studying my bachelors degree and soon a masters degree in Germany. Well, the European healthcare system is totally socialized, and most countries, like Netherlands, Germany, England, among others pay nearly 50% of their income to taxes. Sounds scary, right? The overall quality life is better here, though. Here is an article I found that might be interesting to you, which compares the US and UK healthcare system, in which the UK's healthcare is 100% socialized and covers 100% of the UK population. I hope you read it and maybe understand that the important issue in this election was actually NOT abortion laws, that is just something politics talks about every year to get the people all worked up. The real issues are something maybe your family doesn't have to struggle with, because your husband landed a nice job, like paying for health insurance.

    But, in all honestly, not everyone should have go to college and get a nice job, people who decide that studying isn't the right path for them, like hairdressers or people who simply work at a grocery store full time, these people who work the same hard long hours as your husband, should not have to struggle every month to pay for insurance.

    And, again, your views are not wrong. I don't want to tell you that you are wrong, but I want you to se how the rest of the world does it. There is so much more to this than abortion laws.


  8. I feel exactly the same way that you do. I was like in a trance all day yesterday. Today I'm going to focus on getting out of rut and figuring out how I can move forward. We'll be ok. I just have to trust in God that everything will be ok. Thanks for sharing this!

  9. This is your best post yet honey.

    A quick point of contention with some of these comments.

    I keep reading about people saying that women can choose with their bodies. I agree, but the problem is there is another body inside them. They made their choice with their body already (to have sex, I understand rape is a special concern, but most abortions don't follow rapes. In 2008 ~90,000 rapes, but 875,000 abortions). Just because that child is inside the mother doesn't mean it is part of their body and under their choice to do whatever they want. Instead it is an assault on the most vulnerable. People cannot possibly lecture me on taking care of the poor when they try to justify murdering our most vulnerable citizens. Kill the baby because they couldn't control their sexual urges.

    As for falling in love with England, we liked the landscape, Olympics, and castles; not the healthcare and government. As a matter of fact, we read an article in the newspaper about a woman who needed special chemotherapy drugs and the government determined they were too expensive and denied her request. I assure you, socialized medicine will only lead to the rich getting true proper healthcare out of pocket, and the rest getting left behind. We know this will happen, because we have case studies of France and England as examples. This isn't right wing craziness, we are watching it unfold live in Europe. Greece anyone...

  10. I completely agree with you. I too am having such a hard time with this. This is the first election that I actually took the time to really educate myself. It was the first one that I really cared. I'm terrified for our country and our family. I feel like so many people have drifted away from God. I feel like all anybody cares about is "gay rights, and equality" It's about much more than that! People need to wake up! God is still in control of our country and as hard as it is to accept that, it's something we need to do. I love this post and I respect you for telling us your true feelings. After all that's what blogging is for. Keep your head up sweet girl :-)

  11. Just to touch on Jordan's point above about "kill the baby because they couldn't control their sexual urges" I don't think is a fair statement. Are there women that use abortion as a form of birth control? Yes. And I don't agree with that AT ALL. However, there are many women that do use birth control but it fails. No birth control is 100% and it's just not realistic to tell people, especially adults just don't have sex. Forcing women to have children they don't want or can afford will just cause even more people to need government assistance and have more children that are neglected or not taken care of which in my opinion is far worse. Again, I'm not a fan of abortion but I do believe that a woman should have a right to a safe and legal one (within the first trimester). Just my thoughts.

  12. love that you are willing to express your true feelings. I completely agree with you. Yesterday, all day, i honestly didnt know what to do or say. I honestly thought that the country would think the same as us. Obivously not. But now that the decision is made, im scared to death. I literally called my dad crying, not because i was angry at what the result was, but to ask him "Whats going to happen now?" He tried calming me down, and explained that as long as I work hard and take care of my family, like Ive always done and like he raised me, thats all that matters.

    p.s. love that Jordan commented on here supporting you, such a great hubby!

    the sweet life of a southern wife

  13. First of all I commend you Allie for being brave enough to put this out there, even when you knew there were many who would disagree with you (obviously, because Obama was reelected. I agree with you about abortion. I honestly believe that the only way anyone could support a "woman's right to choose" is if they don't really understand what takes place in an abortion. They remove themselves from the reality that a human child just like yours or mine is literally torn apart. They convince themselves that somehow the baby isn't human yet, or that for some reason the mother's life is more valuable and deserves more respect than her child's. If you want to know the reality of abortion just look up abortions reality check on you tube. But I warn you it is horribly gruesome. So if you want to continue telling yourself that abortion is just a medical procedure that hurts no one, then you should not watch this.

  14. What a brave post to write, knowing that you were going to get (a lot of) dissenting opinions. I'm with you 100%.

  15. In my opinion an abortion is completely WRONG! You are taking the life of the defenseless. I feel when you have sex you know your risk of birth control failing, it is like playing Russian Roulette with the safety possibly being on. Why should a child who has been conceived have their choice taken, just so their mommy can have her choice?
    There are so many families that are unable to have children and would love to adopt these children, women are so quick to abort. It saddens me deeply that some women are so selfish.

  16. I am 100% with you. I also had a miscarriage (14 weeks) and it was devastating for me. I DO however, support a women's right to choose (although the thought of women choosing to abort their unborn babies makes me sick to my stomach). It drove me crazy when people would keep talking about the "war on women." There was no war people, puhlease. It was another mudslinging tactic to get votes. Was Abortion illegal when Bush was President? No. Just because Mitt Romney personally feels abortion is a form murder (because, um, it is ending a life) does not mean that he would have the power to ban abortion should he become President, nor would he (he isn't stupid and realizes this isn't the big issue plaguing our nation). I do agree that there should be tighter laws surrounding abortion, such as making partial birth abortion illegal, etc. Your ability to get an abortion would not change with either candidate. The bill would never pass, the election was not about this.

    THIS ELECTION IS NOT ABOUT GAY MARRIAGE PEOPLE, PLEASE. I have two gay siblings and have zero problem with gay marriage. I support equal rights for everyone - and when given the opportunity I have always voted in support of gay marriage (because marriage is a STATE issue and not decided by the President). Yes I understand that on a federal level gay marriage could be recognized for tax purposes. I agree that it should but I am most certainly not going to base my vote for President on that alone because my ability to continue to provide for my family is that most important thing to me. AND, Obama is President now and gay marriage STILL is not recognized on a federal level. So quit acting as if my vote for Romney is vote against equality. Nothing will change either way, make your voice heard in your own state.

    I mainly voted for Romney / Ryan for the tax issues. I work my butt off, like your husband, have two kids and cannot stand to see people taking advantage. We will become a nation of freeloaders and our country will fall apart. This is so scary to me. I know so many people who WANT to get fired from their job so they can collect unemployment for years and who milk the system. We need to get back to the good old days where hard work was appreciated and people didn't expect the gov't to take care of them.

    I could go on for days and days, but I just wanted to let you know that I agree with everything you've said. I'm bummed about the election but I'm choosing to move on and support our country because that is what we need right now. :)

  17. This comment has been removed by the author.

  18. I'm so impressed that you shared your opinion! I totally agree with the previous comment about how this election was not about gay marriage or abortion...that is just thrown out there to distract from the issues. AKA the economy! And after reading most of the comments on your post, I didn't realize how many people do want people to pay higher taxes for people less fortunate. I'm sorry I just don't get that. I came from a family that had NO MONEY and worked very hard to get where I am. I paid my way through college and got a good job and saved and saved. For what? To see it all taxed? But apparently after this election I have realized apparently a large amount of the country wants this??? I still just don't get it. That's what charities are for...that is what the churches do...they help the less fortunate because they want to and feel inspired too. Why are the hard workers punished for doing well? It's like you said why tell our sons to work hard and have a high paying profession knowing he'll have to hire a good accountant to help him with his taxes so it doesn't all go to the government. Has anyone realized that the government doesn't do anything well? They are not efficient at all. Have you been to the post office? Education? Let's just throw money at it...that will fix the problem. What's crazy is the more money they throw at problems the worse the situation gets. (And both sides D or R do this) That's why privatizing works...b/c Americans have the power of choice. For example, because of Obamacare my insurance premiums for the same coverage is double. Seriously? For what I ask you? That is why health insurance should be like auto insurance and not tied to your job. That means if I am unhappy with my insurance I can shop around for different coverage or cheaper rates. Right now it's like monopoly money when you look at insurance statements...I mean first you have the "supposed cost" then you have the discount from your carrier and so on and so on.

    What happened to simple math? And so this is where the problem lies. The government plays with our money as if it's "play money" because it their mind it doesn't directly effect them. Balance budget? Ehh we'll just get more in debt.

    Also gay rights...this shouldn't even be in our vocabulary. It should just be "human rights." Why is the government even interested in marriage? Why do we even have to get licenses? Oh that's right they want to know so they can keep tally on how to tax you. Did you know that back a long time ago it was just a religious ceremony tied to the church. That's how it should be. So much could be solved if the government didn't meddle in our lives. For example, if someone wanted to add some one to their insurance I do not care if it is a grandmother, a domestic partner, or whoever it is...you could do that. You could enter a contract with anyone. Then guess what? There would be no gay issues. B/c we would all be treated the same. And then your marriage to your spouse or partner could be recognized at the church that YOU choose to go to. I read this awesome article where people could enter in contracts with whoever and my oh my the problems it would solve. We would all be treated as individuals...and it wouldn't matter your race, single, or married. Really how did the government get involved in these issues? We are so far from the Constitution.

  19. Jordan, I see your point. When it comes down to it, this is why it's important to vote. Because, then people can live under the type of government that they voted for. Clearly I am a fan of the European system (hence why I live here). The American healthcare and taxation system is the way it is currently, because that is what the majority of America voted for. That's what makes a democracy so great, right?

    Allie, I think it's great that you posted this. The best lesson for your boys is to stand for what they believe in and not be afraid to voice their opinion. You're a great role model! #TeamAmerica

  20. You go girl :) Love to you all.

  21. Great post! I can relate. I too feel perplexed by many of the issues that arose in this year’s campaigns. I am also extremely confused by the fact that a child miscarried at 6 weeks can mean so much more than another child that was aborted at 6 weeks, that simply doesn’t make sense. All life is important and equal; one child isn’t more or less important because of the circumstance for which they were conceived.
    It is very disturbing to think about our children’s future. When I was a child the American dream was to go to college (which I did and I had two jobs to help cover costs), purchase a car (my fist car was a crappie Taurus and I paid $4,000.00 but you know what, I purchased it on my own and paid it off on my own!) purchase a home, get married, and have a family. Back then the American dream encompassed honor, integrity, fortitude, sweat, tears, all that goes into accomplishing something on your own. Somewhere along the way I feel like that has been replaced with a sense of entitlement. I wish all Americans could understand that America cannot thrive on entitlement.
    I don’t know where we go from here, I don’t know what the future holds, and I am scared.

  22. Allie I could have wrote this myself! Thank you for speaking out for what you believe! I too am scared for our country, so no you are not alone with any of your thoughts!!

  23. Can we seriously be best friends?! This is the best post! I agree 100 with both issues%!

    All those women who are devastated by a friends or their own miscarriage are the ones who are also are pro-choice! I know they are; I used to read their blogs and follow them on twitter and facebook and all those bump/nest boards! PURE CRAP!

    And I know lots of people who are getting government aid, yet they eat out all the time and have smart phones...I mean, really? Give me a break! My hubby makes ok money, but we don't have smart phones of any kind! Because we live on a tight budget and cannot afford them. Needs vs Wants!

    There is so much wrong with our society, and it is all being pushed on the Catholics to be more like "them". It makes me want to run away and raise my kids in the middle of the forest with no access to TV or internet or anything. But that would be taking it too far, right? lol! As if being a parent isn't stressful enough, now we have to worry about all of this too!