Stuck in a Rut....

I have some what been in a rut, not a bad rut just lots of thoughts going through my mind. 
We have a lot of changes going on here which I will get to in other posts but just lots of thoughts on life and our future and our children's future. 
All good things though, I promise!:)
Sometimes it is easy to get lost in the shuffle of all that is involved with being a wife and mother.
You get lost within your friends and family.
You just shuffled around and emotions get thrown around.
At some points it is just so hard to keep up with everything and everyone.

Being a mother is such a hard job. 
Obviously it is rewarding but man it is rough.
You are molding the future, you have lives in your hands.
It is downright terrifying if you start to get ahead of yourself and think about the future. 
Which is why I most of the times just choose to stay in the moment and not get too far ahead of myself about what is to come when the boys are teens and then God forbid, adults.

You look around at everyone else, other families, other children, other moms. 
I used to have a hard time with comparing myself with others, when I only had Vincent I used to get intimidated by other moms who I thought were super moms. 
With a few years under my belt in being a mom and wife my view has changed significantly.

No one can do it all. 
If someone says they can, I honestly call their bluff.
I can do a decent amount most days but to say I fully have this mom thing under control would be BS.
If I am a rocking mom one day I can tell you that the house is probably a train wreck, 
If my house is clean, I usually go to bed wondering if I spent enough quality time with the boys.
Thank God I have the world's most amazing husband who understands that I can not do it all perfect, all the time, he is just happy I am a trophy wife (with lots of sarcasm)

Each day brings new challenges, new experiences, some exciting, some terrifying.
I thought as the kids got older things would be easier, and yes in some aspects it is easier.
They can go to the bathroom on their own but they are now forming their own being. 
Their attitude towards life and others is now forming.
They have opinions, they have more feelings than ever. They can relay their thoughts to you.
Throw any newborn my way, I can rock it out but man this toddler, almost school age stuff is tiring.
Not so much physically but emotionally.

I ask myself daily "Will this effect who they become?" ," Am I making the right choices?"
At the end of the day I just have to trust my gut as a mom and do the best that I can.
I just have to pray that everything will fall into place.

Sometimes, it just takes a few good quotes to put things into perspective.
I just have to be me, be the best mom and wife that I can and live the life at hand.
We are so extremely blessed and have our own special unique story that only God could have planned.
I need to stand tall and confident in the fact that I cannot do it all.
That at the end of the day, all that matters is that my family and I are happy.
They are hands down the most important thing and really all that matters when all is said and done.

Cannot wait to fill you in on all the changes and happenings in the household and our life.
Happy Thursday friends.

7 comments:

  1. This is soooo me right now!Everyday , I'm reminded that my daughter is learning so much about this world. And, unfortunately I can't shelter her from everything. The thought of it can be overwhelming. It's good to know that I'm not the only mom that feels this way.Guess I better put the laptop away and just savor my little girl while I can . :)

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  2. Right on! Even though Seren is only 6 months old, I sometimes freak myself out thinking about what I can do as her mom to make sure that she grows into an adult who lives for God. And then I realize that I can't do it on my own. I just gotta pray and do the best that I can and trust God that everything will be all right.

    I know you love your boys and you spend lots of time with them, and in the end, I think that is what will make the difference. Not how well you did teaching them to read, or how awesome their birthday parties were (although Vincent's pirate party was awesome!), or how many gourmet meals you were able to whip up while also keeping the house spotless.

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  3. oh i love this. I am feeling all of this lately.your such a strong momma, i actually find you as one of the mommas i compare myself too! Your doing such a great job in every aspect of your boys' life, from learning to what they eat to their religion. Bravo momma, bravo! :)

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  4. You are such a good mom to my three grandsons, I used to think the same thing to Allie, wondering if I was a good mom or not. I am so proud of my four children, one of them being your husband, and think I did a pretty good job of raising all four of them. They are responsible, respectful, contributing members of society, and best of all, they still love me. My thought always was when I sent them off to college, they were able to live on their own and take care of themselves, and I think that says a great deal about them and the way they were raised.

    Love to you

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  5. Great post, I can totally relate :)

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  6. Love you transparency Allie! We all strive to do the best that we can & have some grace for those in between days:)

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  7. i feel the same way about cleaning/sucking as a mom, versus spending time with the kids/sucking as a wife :o

    the neverending cleaning drives me crazy sometimes, but i do love staying at home with the babes

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