We are back from our week vacation and I wish I could say that I was rested and rejuvenated but that is not the case, sadly haha! One day I know we will have restful and peaceful vacations but those days are very far away for now we are just keeping up with life as best we can.
When we got home we had an invite from Vincent's preschool for a playdate for students and parents.
Yes, I said Preschool.
6 months ago, that word would have never came out of my mouth, my mind back then was 100% set on me homeschooling the boys. I had no doubt in my mind that I would be the boys teacher. Then a lot changed when I got pregnant with baby #4. I was exhausted to the max and thoroughly losing my patience on normal daily things. I noticed it most with the boys, my patience would thin a lot quicker than usual and it was so not cool, definitely not the mom I wanted to be in the least. I want to be there 125% for my kids, emotionally, physically, the whole shabang but this pregnancy threw me through the loops, I had never experienced exhaustion to this degree and I was becoming way more stressed with the thought of the fact that I had planned to start homeschooling in the fall.
One night in bed Jordan confessed to me, even though I know it broke his heart that he thought I might not be emotionally ready for all that homeschooling would require this fall. I was VERY hurt at first, even mad that he was questioning my ability. But he was RIGHT, I was slowly losing my cool and maybe at this time I am not the right person to be teaching the kids with another baby coming in December. We then had to make a MAD rush to even find a preschool because registration started at the start of the year and we were already into March, after a few hiccups we got the boys into our home parish, Vincent will attend 4 year old preschool 4 days a week and Luke will attend 3 year old preschool 2 days a week.
I am still on the fence about the whole thing and very hesitant but trying to stay optimistic. The worst that can happen is that we hate it and come back to the roots of wanting to homeschool and truthfully I have a feeling they will love it and all will be well. At least we have a back up plan and right now, it's just preschool so I am not too worried. It's only a few hours a day so truthfully it will all be fine. Our main reason for wanting to homeschool was to keep our Catholic values the center of it all, and the fact that they will be at a Catholic school is definitely reassuring. Plus, we do so much at home with our faith that I know the boys will be fine. We are going to go into this with our minds open and be open to the reality that our kids may be in school, and allow us to put our faith in the school and the teachers.
Today we had our preschool play date for Vincent and while it was a tad intimidating the school and teacher gave me a really warm feeling. The class sizes are very small and the teacher was sweet as can be. The parents were all amazing as well. Vincent enjoyed himself but with it being his FIRST real classroom setting was a tad timid. I get to attend the first day with him and Luke so that will be nice to ease them into this. Never in a million years did I think we would be sending them but like I said I am leaving this one up to God, He has never failed us and I don't forsee Him doing so anytime soon.
Here are a few pics from our playdate. My big 4 year old. Oh my!
So there you have it. I am at peace with the decision and at peace with the fact that I can't do it all. As much as I wanted to be the kick ass mom who did it all on top of homeschooling, I just can't. And it's not to say that one day we won't turn back to homeschooling, we truly may but for now, it is what it is and I am happy (a tad terrified) but happy.
Plus, it was also an excuse to shop for cute backpacks and "school" clothes ;)
Can't wait to edit our vacation pictures, ps do you notice that nice mark on Vincent's face, WELL he fell getting into the car on vacation and OMG his head gashed open, blood everywhere, it was not just a cut it was HUGE, I could see flesh and that is not okay with me. I freaked. He is totally going to scar. We were literally an hour from a hospital and Jordan's dad is a doctor so he butterflied it with some duct tape lol yes, duct tape! Vincent took a selfie of his bandage.
Also if you ask what happened, he will tell you he got hit by a car.
I just laugh because I am sure people totally freak out by his answer.
Happy Tuesday friends!