Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Decisions, Decisions....

We are back from our week vacation and I wish I could say that I was rested and rejuvenated but that is not the case, sadly haha! One day I know we will have restful and peaceful vacations but those days are very far away for now we are just keeping up with life as best we can. 

When we got home we had an invite from Vincent's preschool for a playdate for students and parents.

Yes, I said Preschool.

6 months ago, that word would have never came out of my mouth, my mind back then was 100% set on me homeschooling the boys. I had no doubt in my mind that I would be the boys teacher. Then a lot changed when I got pregnant with baby #4. I was exhausted to the max and thoroughly losing my patience on normal daily things. I noticed it most with the boys, my patience would thin a lot quicker than usual and it was so not cool, definitely not the mom I wanted to be in the least. I want to be there 125% for my kids, emotionally, physically, the whole shabang but this pregnancy threw me through the loops, I had never experienced exhaustion to this degree and I was becoming way more stressed with the thought of the fact that I had planned to start homeschooling in the fall. 

One night in bed Jordan confessed to me, even though I know it broke his heart that he thought I might not be emotionally ready for all that homeschooling would require this fall. I was VERY hurt at first, even mad that he was questioning my ability. But he was RIGHT, I was slowly losing my cool and maybe at this time I am not the right person to be teaching the kids with another baby coming in December. We then had to make a MAD rush to even find a preschool because registration started at the start of the year and we were already into March, after a few hiccups we got the boys into our home parish, Vincent will attend 4 year old preschool 4 days a week and Luke will attend 3 year old preschool 2 days a week. 

I am still on the fence about the whole thing and very hesitant but trying to stay optimistic. The worst that can happen is that we hate it and come back to the roots of wanting to homeschool and truthfully I have a feeling they will love it and all will be well. At least we have a back up plan and right now, it's just preschool so I am not too worried. It's only a few hours a day so truthfully it will all be fine. Our main reason for wanting to homeschool was to keep our Catholic values the center of it all, and the fact that they will be at a Catholic school is definitely reassuring. Plus, we do so much at home with our faith that I know the boys will be fine. We are going to go into this with our minds open and be open to the reality that our kids may be in school, and allow us to put our faith in the school and the teachers.

Today we had our preschool play date for Vincent and while it was a tad intimidating the school and teacher gave me a really warm feeling. The class sizes are very small and the teacher was sweet as can be. The parents were all amazing as well. Vincent enjoyed himself but with it being his FIRST real classroom setting was a tad timid. I get to attend the first day with him and Luke so that will be nice to ease them into this. Never in a million years did I think we would be sending them but like I said I am leaving this one up to God, He has never failed us and I don't forsee Him doing so anytime soon.

Here are a few pics from our playdate. My big 4 year old. Oh my! 



So there you have it. I am at peace with the decision and at peace with the fact that I can't do it all. As much as I wanted to be the kick ass mom who did it all on top of homeschooling, I just can't. And it's not to say that one day we won't turn back to homeschooling, we truly may but for now, it is what it is and I am happy (a tad terrified) but happy. 

Plus, it was also an excuse to shop for cute backpacks and "school" clothes ;)  

Can't wait to edit our vacation pictures, ps do you notice that nice mark on Vincent's face, WELL he fell getting into the car on vacation and OMG his head gashed open, blood everywhere, it was not just a cut it was HUGE, I could see flesh and that is not okay with me. I freaked. He is totally going to scar. We were literally an hour from a hospital and Jordan's dad is a doctor so he butterflied it with some duct tape lol yes, duct tape! Vincent took a selfie of his bandage.
Also if you ask what happened, he will tell you he got hit by a car.
LOL
I just laugh because I am sure people totally freak out by his answer.

Happy Tuesday friends!

11 comments:

  1. Why do you feel your boys need preschool at all (homeschool or otherwise)? I'm not judging your decision, I'm honestly just curious. We plan to homeschool but if we end up not going that route, I'm not planning to send my kids to preschool (or kindergarten) either. Even if we do homeschool, I don't plan to have any formal curriculum until age 5 or 6. Lucia is only 19 months, so my thoughts my change, but at this point, I don't see preschool as necessary and I really despise how academic pressure is happening earlier and earlier.

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    1. Kids are 5 or 6 usually in kindetgarten...

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  2. Allie they will do GREAT! You will see. It will probably be harder for you than it will be for them. And at the end of the school day they get to come home to a loving set of parents! School is just a start, you lay the foundation and you guys are awesome parents. It is amazing how much kids can learn at a very young age!

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  3. Love your honesty :) I know it had to be a tough decision to send the boys to school, but I am sure things will go great! And if they don't, you can still always homeschool next year. :) Also I love that improvised duck tape bandaid!

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  4. I totally get this. Our Catholic school board here in Ontario is getting less and less Catholic. I would love to be able to home school, but I know I don't have the patience for it; it's not my calling, and I have accepted that. My son starts Junior Kindergarten (equivalent to preschool in the US I guess) this fall, and I'm so nervous as he has never been under the care of someone who isn't family. Also, most people who enroll their kids in the Catholic schools here don't attend Mass each week, so I'm very nervous about the friends he will make.

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  5. Good for you for recognizing what's best for you and your family. I'm so excited to homeschool our future children, but I periodically remind myself that it will depend on what's best for them as individuals and us as a family... it's not just about what I have wanted when imagining it in my head. Love this honest post!

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  6. My mom teaches preschool at our catholic church and its such an amazing place. I'm sure your boys will love school and it will be an awesome experience! And having a backup plan is always great, good for you for doing what's best for your family!

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  7. lmao, loving the duck tape! fyi, if youre ever in need of a quick bandage and you dont want it to scare too bad, try superglue! its basically what they use in the ER nowadays. lol

    And as for the prescool vs homeschooling thing, dont beat yourself up about it. You have a lot going on as is, and lucky enough for you the preschool you found is going to teach your boys the same values as you would at home. And you can still have a dedicated "school time" on the days they are home. That way you have the best of both worlds and some free time to spend with the new baby

    the sweet life of a southern wife

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  8. Your boys are adorable, that duct tape- ha!

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  9. I think they are going to have a great time and will be a great experience for them. Don't sweat it, you're doing a great job. This will give you time to focus on the new baby and Jude while they are in school.

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  10. i'm kind of torn on the homeschooling/regular schooling thing too. on the one hand, i think i do think it's hard for kids to reconcile being catholic and going to a secular school (it definitely made me separate my two worlds growing up (real life/church) but i went to regular school and my religious education wasn't that great. i'm planning on transferring them to another district if they go to regular school because it's christian based and has better ratings than our catholic schools in the city.

    but the important thing is to just take it one sememster at a time! you can always go back to homeschooling when you get a grip on things, or if he loves it that's great too! :)

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Thanks for your comments, If I do not respond to you, feel free to yell at me! I really love you all~!