So the other night I was reading my Kindle before bed which is my favorite ritual of the day. I look forward to the complete silence and being cuddled up in my bed just reading and thinking also about the day. A few weeks ago Jordan and I had decided that we would start leaving our cell phones out of the bedroom so create a less distracted area, it's not like we are super glued to them but it just gives us a complete break from any outside noise inside our bedroom. I mean we get interupted by the kids before bed but honestly we just tune out the rest of our lives and it's just us and our family and that is how I like it to be at night time. Just think about 30 years ago that is EXACTLY how it was. No internet, no cell phones, less distractions.
I have a plethora of books on my dear ole Kindle, it's kind of like I am bipolar in my reading choices, you can find a book on Natural Family Planning, a book for Catholic Mothers and then countless books by my girls The Real Housewives, Brandi Glanville's is BY FAR my favorite one! I read that bad boy in 3 days that is how much I loved it! I also started reading Balancing It All by Candace Cameron Bure. I find her and I to be a lot alike, minus the whole being famous thing. She is someone who has her crap together and doesn't seem to get caught up in the madness. She puts her family and her husband first, well obviously behind God and that is how it should be. I love her outlook on everything.
Never in a million years did I expect DJ Tanner to be the one who opened my eyes on the proper way to pray. I am not even sure how the book was on the last chapter that was specifically about how to pray but it was when I turned it on two nights ago. I started reading and it instantly struck a chord with me. "I've learned to pray very specific and detailed prayers so I can see the hand of God working and know it's Him answering and not just coincidence or fate". I don't know why but I am honestly the queen of vague prayers. Honestly at Mass weekly I ask for our families and friends health, and for bad people to find God. I mean that is honestly the gist of it. I am the most unspecific person ever when it comes to prayers. I honestly just sum it up to thinking that God knows what I mean and can figure it out. haha But I am being so naive and silly. I need to talk more with Him and not just throw in a few hints here and there of what I am praying for.
That honestly opened my eyes to how to pray. I need to lay it all out there. All of it on the table and to be specific. This same exact practice spills over into any relationship. You can't just assume people know what you mean. Like when I tell the boys "Stop being mean", what does that even mean? Yes as an adult I know that it means stop doing that thing you are doing because it is MEAN. But to them they need it broken down and specific. Sure it takes more time to explain but then they understand. "Please stop taking that block from your brother. That is his favorite block and you know that he was playing with it first. You are hurting his feelings by taking the block. Please think about how he feels before you take the toy from him." I mean hello, my "stop being mean" just turned into a whole explanation but I think that is what I need to change. I need to talk specific in my life and also with God. He knows what I need but I need to also tell Him, I need to open my relationship with Him enough to have more conversation and not just the "Hey stop bad people from doing bad things". I mean come on, I am so vague.
At first I thought being specific meant that I was being needy. That I was asking God in this way to test him and see if he fulfills my prayers. But I in no way think that is true. I feel like you are laying it all out there and allowing him to choose the path. Maybe you are praying for something specific to happen and it doesn't, that may be the case and another door may be opening and in a few months you will see why that specific prayer wasn't met but an even better one was. I think that being specific helps you put more time into your prayers instead of just focusing on the easy 10 second run down of vague prayers. It opens your mind and your heart to the power that prayer can be. It also opens your mind and heart to more things going on around you and how you are actually feeling on a certain issue in your life. I started this new approach and I do not know what will come of it but I do feel closer to God and better about my prayers, I feel like there is an actual conversation and not just a quick "Hi, make everyone nice" but an actual outpouring of why everyone should be nice. It gives me a break down of honestly how I want my children to be. How I want them to love others and treat strangers with respect and love. And honestly I feel like that is my calling as a mother, to mold my children into little faith spreading teens and adults.
It really just opened my eyes not only on how to pray but also in motherhood, and all relationships in my life. I am ready to cut the being vague and just cut to the chase. Time to be specific.