Last night I was reflecting on my crazy weekend with the boys. Jordan had a trip for his best friends bachelor party in Vegas so I was running this house solo for the weekend. And silly me also decided to take the boys solo to my parents last week for the county fair two hours away. Sleep away from home is pretty non existent so I was already running on fumes when the big weekend alone approached. I really should plan better. But oh well the fair was worth it!
PS if you are terrified of heights riding with a squirmy 2 year old is not smart!! Seriously almost had a heart attack the guy running the ride said "do not rock because you will tip out". Well that doesnt correlate in the brain of Jude because when they stopped us at the top to let other riders out Jude threw a fit. I literally saw my life flashing before my eyes. Thank God I had my cell phone to bribe him with. Controlling a tantrum on top of a ferris wheel is not fun. or safe.... gahhhhhh!
"Hold hands so I can taje your picture" HOLLLLLLD HANDDDS!!! hahaha
Sam's first Lerch's donuts experience. Heavenly goodness. They were still warm too. YUM.
Now back to the real reason for the post.
Last night before bed I was recounting the madness of the weekend. The pure craziness of things that went down. To say it went smoothly would be laughable. Here is a quick tidbit of some of the things that transpired.
Peach yogurt mixed with dirty muddy feet from outside. yay....
Came out to climbing animals...."dad said we could"
The whole apples to apples card game on the floor.
(Sadly no pic of that)
Mass with all 4 boys.
During mass I am pretty sure I was sweating bullets the entire time. We were stuck in a pew, meaning that if I had to exit someone had to move. Worst spot to be in. Jude of course had to pee. Everyone decided they were thirsty the moment we sat down and I had no cups. Jude ripped through my purse and yanked out a random pregnancy test in a bright pink wrapper. Then icing on the cake was my cell phone going off. I never take it to church but had it because J is out of town. So church was interesting.
The boys all slept in my room both nights. So tons of jabs and kicking.
So as I was running down the list of complete madness through my head I wasn't upset or mad. I was a tad impressed that I was still in a good mood. I was proud of myself for conquering a weekend alone with all 4 boys.
I remember the first day Jordan went back to work after having Sam. I was a mess. He called to check in on me and I was sobbing. It was so rough. The boys weren't listening and Sam was crying and so was I. It was a very very rough time for me. I was burnt out from up all night newborn feedings and trying to keep up with being a good mom to the boys and tackle everything. Back then never would I have ever imagined myself being able to handle an entire weekend alone with the boys ALONE. I would have legit broke down and cried about it.
But time has passed. The boys have grown a tad. Sam now can play with toys and isn't attached to me 247. I can get some housework done at times. I could have easily got caught up in the horrible train wreck of messes from this weekend. I could have gotten annoyed and angry that my husband was hanging in Vegas with his buddies, eating dinner without kids, having to not wipe poopy butts and clean up messes. I could have been mean to the boys for all the messes they made.
But what good would ANY of that do??
What would that fix?
Nothing at all comes from anger or resentment or dwelling.
So last night instead of being upset I let it all go.
I am slowly but surely learning ways to make it through this crazy life.
If you focus all your energy on negative things and things you cannot change you are WASTING time. Precious time you can never get back! Don't let the madness drag you down mommas. In 10 years our children will be old enough to wipe their butts and clean their messes. In 20 years our children will be gone. They will be living on their own. You will be wishing you hadn't spent all that time wasted on being upset over the messes or upset that your children were fighting with each other over the same toy for the 293th time of the day.
It's tiring. It's exhausting. It some days brings you to tears.
But LET IT GO.
Focus on the fact that right now in these moments you are the center of your childrens lives. As much as I hate when my boys get hurt or fall I love that they run for me, every single time. They want me to comfort them. They want me to help them. They want me to SEE their new coloring project and how they can write their name. Soon enough they will not need me like they do now. They will be married and off with their own children.
So this is why I am choosing to let it all go. I don't want their childhood years to drag by. I want to linger in the madness and chaos because soon it will be gone and I will miss it!
So if you are in a rough patch, I promise it will get better. Let go of the madness and move on mommas. There are BRIGHTER times ahead. Don't let the crying and sibling fighting bring you down. As Luke and Jude are NO JOKE fighting over my cell phone now. SIGHHHHHHH.....
Happy Monday you all.
Try to push away the low points from your past week or month.
Let it go and rock it out!
If that doesnt work go through the Starbucks drive thru!