Honestly I have learned so much about the horrible world of comparing. I used to fall prey to it far too often. With the internet it becomes even harder not to get sucked in. Especially being a blogger. You just have to remind yourself NOT to compare. It only gets you down and also gets you no where.
I myself fondly remember so many times when I compared. Blogs showing perfect houses with amazing decor and some even with white couches and rugs that I envied beyond belief. But I knew my kids would turn that white to a wonderful shade of dirt in 5 seconds flat. I remember feeling so competitive when we had Vincent on our birth boards when people would talk about their kids hitting milestones or this or that and I would wonder, why is Vincent not there yet? It even comes with marriages where I fondly remember a friend of mines husband sending her for a massage after he was traveling a few days that week and she had the kids to herself. Where the hell is my massage day when my husband travels. Comparing can cause so much anger within you and cause drama and worry where it is not needed.
I read in a book last night about children and it struck a huge cord with me. When we stop looking at our children as projects and look at them as a person we enjoy motherhood so much more. And I feel like I totally used to look at them as a project and compare them to others. Now that I look at them as their own person and stop comparing to what others are doing with their kids I can enjoy each of their personalities better. We all drum to the beat of our own drum and we need to embrace it.
It has taken 28 years to get to where I am in this mindset with trying to get rid of comparison. I think maybe my life is such a blur I just do not have as much time to get caught up in it! At the times when I do get caught up I just remind myself, we are not the same. We will never be the same. This is MY life and no one elses. And that usually brings me back to reality.
A lot of my friends always tell me how I easy I make it look being a mom and doing all that I do. Honestly the truth is that it's a shit show most days. But I love it. I love being busy. I love the madness. I love my family. We are so very far from perfect. I usually blog about the positives though because honestly I do not like to dwell on the negatives. They just suck the life out of you. So when I blog I try to blog things that I will like to look back on. This is my online journal and sometimes when I am in a rough spot I literally will click back to older posts and see how far we have come.
Life isn't easy. It sometimes downright doesn't seem fair but I promise you if you change your perspective and stop comparing and actually focus on YOUR life you will be able to pinpoint some pretty awesome things. I always refer to looking at life with horse blinders on.
If you have those blinders on you can't see anyone else. Your eyes are on YOUR path and that is where they need to be, ALWAYS. So please, please put those blinders on and I think your life will get much brighter. You have amazing things in your life, all of you. Stop focusing on others and stop comparing. I pinky swear life will be a whole lot sweeter when you do!