I finally made a video on my journey through post partum depression and anxiety. I talk a pretty good chunk about it to my close friends and family but decided that I needed to get it off my chest because it is a very heavy burden to carry along and I want to try to completely free myself from it. This wonderful situation is the sheer factor of why I am terrified to have more children. The fear of living that hell again is far too much for me to consider at the time being. Also there is not a lot of information out there because a lot of women do not want to talk about it which is why I felt that I needed to.
This is nothing to be ashamed about. EVER. Your hormones are all out of whack and its such a hard transition as is, so this just creates a firestorm within you. Although I never ever want to feel this again, the fact that I went through this and made it out stronger is a huge blessing. It has formed me into who I am today and I am a much better person than I was before.
I pray this helps someone.