Slacker. What's in a Name?

I knew I forgot something, I forgot to share week 15 on the blog! Name reveal! :)

Picking out a 5th boy name was a tad hard!
The older boys are all named after Saints and when we do prayers each night we pray to each saint so having this little mans name also be after a saint was uber important! And when I looked up this saint, the feast day of this saint was on his due date! I knew it was fate.
Our older boys names are
Vincent Jeffrey (St Vincent, and middle name after my dad)
Luke Cosmas (St Luke and St Cosmas, I guess we thought he needed two saints)
Jude Edward (St Jude and Edward after his great grandpa)
Samuel Clarence (St Samuel and Clarence after Jordans grandpas side)
and last but not least we will now be adding
Henry Jordan (St Henry and middle name after his daddy and uncle Elliotts middle name)

Thats a whole lot of BOY names isnt it? I am still in shock that we are indeed having another BOY. I guess I am honestly still in shock that I am indeed pregnant. Its a double whammy haha! I have been feeling so great lately that it doesn't feel quite real, waiting for these kicks and punches to start so I know he's really in there!:) Also waiting for that nesting to come in so I can purge this entire house! 

Onesie and newborn set from Jennifer Ann 

From Jealous Wife to Confident.

First day back from LA and slowly unpacking and getting reorganized, we have a house full of sick kiddos, so I am trying to stay healthy amidst the coughs and puking, the school emailed that 12% is out with a stomach bug, so praying these boys can get strong and kick it quick!! When I was in LA, I got a lot of time to reflect on the past two years. They asked us a question that got my wheels turning...."Who were you when you started" and yowza, I was not at ALL the same person. I made a little video chatting about it.....

My Journey.....

Sat down and took a good look back at my journey. 
Added some more pics from the years. So many insane memories 

If you don’t know my story already…here it is [cliff note version!]

2004: Graduated high school and went to college with the sole purpose of Cheerleading, skipped class a lot and barely made high enough grades to cheer. Cheerleading defined who I was. I hated my major and was just lost in life. Drank a lot, gained weight and ate horrible. 

2007: Quit college after wasting thousands of dollars on unattended classes and rent. I felt like the worlds biggest failure. I moved back in with my parents and worked at the ice cream shop I had been at since high school until I moved to a new city and became a nanny for the most amazing family in the world. I lived alone and hated coming home at night to an empty apartment so I picked up two more jobs and worked, paying off my school loans and car payment and not saving one penny. I had no control.

2008: Met Jordan and fell fastly in love, we moved in after a month of dating and bought a dog. Jordan started his MBA, we got engaged, bought a house, and found out we were pregnant, yep before being married. I continued nannying.

2009: I gained 70lbs, had Vincent, got married and I continued nannying with Vincent tagging along. Jordan worked 40 hours and did his MBA at night, we barely saw eachother.
2010: Added Luke to the family gaining another 60lbs, battled my first round of postpartum depression, stopped working and budgeted hard core to allow me to stay at home, Jordan was at a job he hated so he finished his MBA early, Jordan graduated and searched for a new job in a horrible economy, he found a new job, we relocated to a new city with no friends. I was lost pretending to be the perfect mom and wife. It was exhausting. I was so unhappy and lost. Jordan traveled 3-4 nights a week and it was a rough adjustment. 
2012: Why not add another, another 40 lbs and Jude entered the family and I continued pretending to be mom & wife of the year. I decided to open a photography business to try to find me. 
2013: Moved into a new home in a new city knowing no one once again, the pretending to be perfect cycle continued, renovated our house and found out again we were expecting again, I was gone almost every single weekend doing photography and it was ruining my marriage and family. It was becoming toxic. Sam and another 45 lbs entered our family that December. 
2014: Started the year in the worst possible spot in my life, postpartum battle #2 and it was nasty, I missed Christmas with my family and was in a dark place. All the pretending to be perfect was front and center and I was at rock bottom. My body was in shambles after 4 kids, and my love for life and confidence was so far gone. I decided to try an at home workout in hopes to lose weight. I fell in love with the program and started sharing my story and it insanely turned into a career I never imagined. I started to figure out who I was and find my footing as a wife and mother. 

2015: My business ran wild this year and my income jumped 6x what it was in 2014. I closed my photography business and was able to enjoy my family on the weekends. I have found the best friends ever through the business and met so many amazing women in our groups. I am able to pay my team back with a trip this spring to FL and reward them for hardwork. I am able to surprise my husband and boys with spring break plans.The weight of worrying about school tuition and the boys future (cars, college, sports) is no longer there. I never imagined being able to HELP my family in this way. Especially after walking away from college 8 years prior. We ended the year finding out we are expecting baby #5! 

I am sharing this with you to show the craziness that is my life. I've had a ton of knock down moments and never ever saw myself living this life. I was terrified what I would do when my kids were all in school! Would I go back to retail or nannying? I had no fall back options? Would I go back to college? All those things weighed heavily on me and made me feel NOT ENOUGH especially while trying to pretend to be the perfect mom and wife so many years. All these moments have made me who I am, I am so FAR from perfect and I am done pretending to be something I am not. I dont need to let my "failings" hold me back, I am who I am and thats what makes me special. I have found my path and footing finally at almost 30 years old. 

I am a college drop out turned at home business owner who is telling you that you can do ANYTHING! Don't let the past dictate your future. You are in control!

Week 2 of 52!! 13/14 weeks pregnant with baby BOY #5!

Our first official snow in Northern Ohio was fun to wake up to! 
The boys jaws all dropped! They have kind of forgotten about snow since its been an insanely mild winter! We got hammered the past 2 winters so its nice to have a break from the snow! Now if the snow will stay at bay for my flight to LA in 10 days that would be great!!! Yesterday I vlogged week 2 of 52 for the pregnancy journey! Thank goodness for vlogging because its so much easier than typing it out!! I am still in shock we will have 5 kids ahhhhhhh!!! Enjoy!
Now back to hide under my covers while Sammer naps and the older boys play together!! Its so toasty under two down comforters!!!! Have a great week y'all!

Week 1 of 52.

Shared my reaction to boy #5 in my video this week for my 52 week journey through pregnancy and postpartum! It will always be on my heart and mind the "what ifs" of life and it can go all ways, I mean if we had never miscarried would we even be having this baby or would we have closed the chapter long ago? What if when I miscarried it was indeed a girl? All those emotions are always there and living inside me and it feels good to get them out. Regardless of any of my heart thinking's I am over the moon blessed and so grateful for every path we have traveled, if I had never been through these blessings and obstacles, I wouldn't be ME. I'm a boy mom through and through and this just confirms it. Every step in my life has been a lesson and blessing.....enjoy my ramblings!

And the results are in....

Panorama results that is. They came in EXACTLY 7 days from my blood draw, even with Christmas in there!! All looks well as far as chromosomes are concerned and the gender is......