Sat down and took a good look back at my journey.
Added some more pics from the years. So many insane memories
If you don’t know my story already…here it is [cliff note version!]
2004: Graduated high school and went to college with the sole purpose of Cheerleading, skipped class a lot and barely made high enough grades to cheer. Cheerleading defined who I was. I hated my major and was just lost in life. Drank a lot, gained weight and ate horrible.
2007: Quit college after wasting thousands of dollars on unattended classes and rent. I felt like the worlds biggest failure. I moved back in with my parents and worked at the ice cream shop I had been at since high school until I moved to a new city and became a nanny for the most amazing family in the world. I lived alone and hated coming home at night to an empty apartment so I picked up two more jobs and worked, paying off my school loans and car payment and not saving one penny. I had no control.
2008: Met Jordan and fell fastly in love, we moved in after a month of dating and bought a dog. Jordan started his MBA, we got engaged, bought a house, and found out we were pregnant, yep before being married. I continued nannying.
2009: I gained 70lbs, had Vincent, got married and I continued nannying with Vincent tagging along. Jordan worked 40 hours and did his MBA at night, we barely saw eachother.
2010: Added Luke to the family gaining another 60lbs, battled my first round of postpartum depression, stopped working and budgeted hard core to allow me to stay at home, Jordan was at a job he hated so he finished his MBA early, Jordan graduated and searched for a new job in a horrible economy, he found a new job, we relocated to a new city with no friends. I was lost pretending to be the perfect mom and wife. It was exhausting. I was so unhappy and lost. Jordan traveled 3-4 nights a week and it was a rough adjustment.
2012: Why not add another, another 40 lbs and Jude entered the family and I continued pretending to be mom & wife of the year. I decided to open a photography business to try to find me.
2013: Moved into a new home in a new city knowing no one once again, the pretending to be perfect cycle continued, renovated our house and found out again we were expecting again, I was gone almost every single weekend doing photography and it was ruining my marriage and family. It was becoming toxic. Sam and another 45 lbs entered our family that December.
2014: Started the year in the worst possible spot in my life, postpartum battle #2 and it was nasty, I missed Christmas with my family and was in a dark place. All the pretending to be perfect was front and center and I was at rock bottom. My body was in shambles after 4 kids, and my love for life and confidence was so far gone. I decided to try an at home workout in hopes to lose weight. I fell in love with the program and started sharing my story and it insanely turned into a career I never imagined. I started to figure out who I was and find my footing as a wife and mother.
2015: My business ran wild this year and my income jumped 6x what it was in 2014. I closed my photography business and was able to enjoy my family on the weekends. I have found the best friends ever through the business and met so many amazing women in our groups. I am able to pay my team back with a trip this spring to FL and reward them for hardwork. I am able to surprise my husband and boys with spring break plans.The weight of worrying about school tuition and the boys future (cars, college, sports) is no longer there. I never imagined being able to HELP my family in this way. Especially after walking away from college 8 years prior. We ended the year finding out we are expecting baby #5!
I am sharing this with you to show the craziness that is my life. I've had a ton of knock down moments and never ever saw myself living this life. I was terrified what I would do when my kids were all in school! Would I go back to retail or nannying? I had no fall back options? Would I go back to college? All those things weighed heavily on me and made me feel NOT ENOUGH especially while trying to pretend to be the perfect mom and wife so many years. All these moments have made me who I am, I am so FAR from perfect and I am done pretending to be something I am not. I dont need to let my "failings" hold me back, I am who I am and thats what makes me special. I have found my path and footing finally at almost 30 years old.
I am a college drop out turned at home business owner who is telling you that you can do ANYTHING! Don't let the past dictate your future. You are in control!