Redefining Motherhood

The definition of mother is: a female parent. 
There's a lot of things to be defined as, I'm a mother, wife, friend, daughter, sister (in law), coworker, woman, human being and I'm sure many other things that will take far too long to list. There is no "good" or "bad" before any of those titles because I want to change the game of life. On the drive home this weekend I scrolled my Facebook to find articles of all sorts of things, and giggled at one titled "good moms don't have sticky floors" and was going to scroll right by like usual but decided to peek inside and see the reasoning because as most of us hear, the quote goes "good moms have sticky floors because XYZ" which I go between both ends of the spectrum so now I was confused where I fit 😂. This fueled the fire inside my belly of the constant battle to be a woman, good moms do this, bad moms do this, do this, you should raise your kids this way, your kids should never say the word "no", you need to make sure you don't say "yes" too much,  your kids should wipe their butt and say their ABCs by age one or you're doing something wrong.  I wanted to throw my phone and scream "I've had enough!!!", but frankly I am shocked my screen hasn't broken yet from all the drops. It goes every which way, every single day of the week there's another comparison for us to live up to. For far too long I fed into this insane thinking, that I wasn't good enough because I didn't take my kids to story hour, that because I did like organics and healthy eating I was labeled as one of those moms, that I should breastfeed til a certain age because that's what they say to do, that I should NEVER feed my kids fruit purée BEFORE rice cereal, that I should never co-sleep or that I should always co-sleep, that I wasn't doing enough as a mom or wife, or that I was doing too much. It's a like a a yo-yo, constantly second guessing and judging our worth on what the latest article brings, it creates divides between women, it creates straight out wars between who's right and who's wrong. It's frankly exhausting. 

What if we just were the best versions of us, what if we were neither classified as good or bad moms, good or bad wives, good or bad friends, what if we were just taken at face value for who we are. What if we were accepted and respected for who we were, for having a squeaky clean horse or a house that looked like a bomb went off, for being accepted if our kids show up in PJs or dressed like a Gap catalog, what if we cleared the BS of these wars and just accepted each other for who we are and accept the fact that we are all doing the best we can. What if we don't have a checklist for how "mom" someone is, I feel like sometimes others are sizing you up as a mom, making sure you check all the boxes before you can enter the clubs. We all excel in different areas, we all are passionate about different things, we all have different triggers and emotions, we all value things at different rates. None of these things should qualify someone as good or bad, it should qualify them as a living, breathing human being with a brain to think for themselves. Someone who deserves to be loved and accepted and not torn down because they may think different.

I don't expect us to all be best friends and sing kumbaya around the fire roasting marshmallows or organic veggies, but I do think we can ALL be better. Better at being open minded, better at changing our hearts away from judgement, better at loving. I can tell you something, I guarantee that one thing we all have in common as moms is a fierce love for our children, an overwhelming sense to want to do the best and be the best version of ourselves we can be for them, but it's insanely HARD with all the racket, all the should dos and shouldn't do. So let's level the field, let's take away the teams and let's just all be MOMS.

Once again the definition of mom that I found was "a female parent" not a parent who never cusses, a parent who always reads a bedtime story, a parent who never allows GMO, a parent who has clean floors and laundry put away before going to bed. None of that. So why do we over complicate this? 

I'm Allie, I'm a mom of 4 going on 5 and I want nothing to do with any groups or clubs, I'm my own person and march to the beat of the drum that works for me and my crew. I just want to be a mom, and love these babes the best I can and I cheer you on, on your path to do the same.  

Share if you want to do the same! 🙌

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