What If?

"What If".....
Over vacation with limited cell service I had a ton of time to sit and reflect. We all in our lives can feel uneasy around others, whether it be a look someone gives, gossip you hear, a text message that seems snippy, or just a cold encounter, we start to build up our own script of how they feel about us, and let's not kid more times than not it's insanely negative. We start to build walls and defenses and rebuttals for why they are wrong and we are right. We get angry and offended and quite frankly it can ruin days and weeks and take us lots of brain space. Last night I got into that rabbit hole with some situations, and I got negative, I got angry, I got defensive and it wasn't going in a good mental direction for me. 

Our brains can build some pretty insane stories up. A simple thing can go from zero to sixty in a millisecond. From personal experience I remember once asking J if he wanted to sneak away and get lunch, and he said no (is he insane!?! Lunch sans kids is like a tropical vaca) Of course my crazy mind was like well he clearly doesn't love me and wants a divorce, it's over (I'm not dramatic at all) when in reality he had just gotten bombarded with customers and had phone calls to do and it just wasn't a good day for a lunch date, it didn't mean he never wanted to do a lunch date or that he didn't want to spend time with me, it was just not a good day, but our minds can twist it and take it south real quick. I remembered a Ted Talk I listened to where the speaker said something simple "what if we just chose to see the best in people, that their intentions were good and that they meant well" instead of jumping to conclusions, instead of going down the rabbit hole of anger, instead of getting all worked up. We control what we let affect us and use up our brain space and far too often we let our mind run wild and have a hay day. BUT it's hard, so FREAKING hard, to just assume someone is being nice and not making a dig, to assume their intentions are pure, especially when you have been burned before. 

So I sat and fought myself on this and these instances, and really thought "Allie what if", what if you twist this, what if you choose to not see it as negative, then it takes all the anger, hurt, time wasted AWAY. If I choose to assume that someone isn't being hurtful, malicious, or mean, then I am also choosing to not be offended, I am choosing to put my energy on positives and to close the door which allows me to be FREE and in the flip side if they were doing it out of meanness then they can brew in it, and allow that in their brain space because my friends, we deserve to be happy, we deserve to keep the focus on things that bring us joy and don't drag us down and I truly believe (and it's a mental battle) that if we choose to train our brains to  not go down the rabbit hole and just to ASSUME people at their best then the rest goes away. It's our choice, and I am striving to see that. I woke up at peace, my heart content, and my mind set on twisting these circumstances to good.

I'm asking you to ask yourself WHAT IF, to change your mind and I know you're like "NO Allie, they are being mean, they are being hurtful" and I get it because my mind told me the SAME THING, and I legit some times have to battle myself for DAYS to see the good, so just choose now to be bigger than it, to see them for good and to not let it go any further. We control what we let affect us, we control what and who we let into our space, cut it off and assume the BEST because how beautiful would it be if we just all saw GOOD, that ugly would die off a lot quicker than us feeding the beast! Happy Wednesday loves! 

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